I’m pretty straightforward in my thinking. Either it is or it isn’t. But I’m also fairly intelligent. I realize there’s often a shade of grey in between. I just happen to struggle more with that territory. So of course, I married a man who lives in the grey. Like, LIVES in the grey. And for us, it works. Because let’s face it…there’s only room for one kind of crazy.
My husband took a week long staycation last week. And before it even began I knew it could end one of two ways. Either it would be a really good week. Or a really bad week. And much to my pleasant surprise, it was a really good week. It’s almost as if we like one another! We laughed. A lot. Spent quality time together. And reconnected. It was just what we needed. No fancy stuff. No destination. And the kids were just as present as they normally are. But it was time that both of us appreciated. And I found myself embracing some of our differences rather than fighting them.
Black and white, a classic combination. One that is timeless and simple. But made of two colors that are so very different. And my husband and I fall right in line with this. He loves sports and is incredibly athletic. I tolerate sports and will someday embarrass my son when I’m forced to throw a baseball his direction. He is the math whiz. I can add 1+1 and I thank God that cell phones come with a calculator. He loves suspense and thriller movies. I’m curled up hiding under a blanket. Or in the other room. I unwind by reading and writing. He unwinds by watching television and playing games. I love music; I play the piano, used to sound the French horn and was involved in theater back in the day. My husband listens to sports talk radio, can’t carry a tune and would have to be drugged to attend Broadway. My guilty pleasure is mainstream pop culture. He once referred to the group One Direction as One Dimension. For real. The oldest and I doubled over in a fit of giggles when that one came out. And we still bring it up. Because come on, that’s funny stuff. He loves his cookies, ice cream and anything sweet. I’m kind of a popcorn junkie and would prefer potato chips and anything salty. You can call me an organizational freak; I like things nice and neat. Neat doesn’t even exist in his vocabulary. At all. I’m no fashion goddess but I do my best to dress well. He has clothes in the closet from high school that he tries to wear every now and then. Not kidding. But lucky for all of you, I never let that awful stuff go beyond these four walls. Yes, some of the 90’s trends are coming back around but they don’t include any of his wardrobe. Trust me. So even though we don’t share a lot of the day to day stuff, we do meet in the middle on enough of the important things to make our marriage work. We love God. And we love the family He has blessed us with. We have similar parenting styles. We don’t argue about politics. We enjoy laughing. At ourselves. At each other. And we would rather spend an evening in together than be reminded how old we are if we try to go out and tweak twerk at some bar.
There are so many relationships crumbling around us. For a number of reasons. Don’t get me wrong…some of our vast differences do get in the way. We’re not perfect! But they’re never enough to break us. They just create another level of our relationship. Or dimension, if you will. 🙂 That’s what nurtures our marriage. And that’s what I value the most. I’m certain we’re not required to think alike in order to love alike. The extra time with my husband last week created new appreciation. And that’s necessary in every relationship. Because relationships are hard. Marriage is hard. Love is hard. And differences can be hard. But success is born if you can find yourself embracing the ones that don’t matter instead of rejecting what they might offer. After all, you can’t get grey without a little black and white.