Uncharted

Please stop growing up. I can’t handle the idea that my oldest baby is halfway done with his K-12 education.

It’s okay, Mom. I’ll still be your baby, even when I get older.

How old were you when you had me?

24.

Only two years after college?

Ha! That would’ve been if I had graduated in four years. I got pregnant the summer after I graduated college and had you the following spring.

You didn’t see me coming?

Nope. Not at all. It’s not exactly what I had planned.

What did you plan?

I wanted to do the career thing. I was planning to move out of state for a job. And I figured I’d get married around 27-28 and be having my first baby by 30.

Oh! Well, I’d say your plan didn’t work out.

Maybe not but having you ended up being a much better plan.

Have your best laid plans ever fallen short? Of course they have. We idealize our visions for the future; what we aim to accomplish, where we want to be, who we want beside us and how we plan to get there. But when all of that comes crashing down…or at the very least, a leisurely crumble…we struggle to believe that the new “plan” is going to be anything but stellar. But generally, after a period of time [likely, a long one] we finally realize that Plan B is exactly where we’re supposed to be.

So, never fall in love with Plan A. For anything. Because you will get your heart broken. Be open to Plan B, Plan C or as many letters as it takes. There are twenty-six letters in the English alphabet so check them off as you go. Because God doesn’t give up on us. Even when we give up on ourselves. I believe that. Wholeheartedly. After spending a number of years in some deep dark places, I am driven now by the light that finally blinded my soul. I always dreamed of having the kind of family that I could openly love and be emotionally in tune with. {The kind that failed me in my youth}. People that would understand me, accept me and encourage me. And I found it with Plan B. And Plan C. Heck, if I’m really going to be honest, I’m probably all the way down to Plan G by now. But I’m not counting [anymore]. I just know that my faithful little family became my purpose-driven plan.

While I planned for security, God planned for growth. It meant scrapping my plan and going with His. It was uncomfortable. And often still is. Faith; it’s a difficult discipline. It means embracing the unknown. And operating the uncharted. So in faithful practice, I’ve been allowing myself to step get pushed outside my comfort zone. And it’s pretty painful! But try it. You might surprise yourself. Because I am told, for all of life’s best plans you need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.