It’s said when bad news strikes, your truest of friends can be found. But what about the good news? What about the times when life gives you moments to celebrate…and you find yourself without your usual crew of close ones. It seems kind of backwards if you ask me. But I’ve come to realize that some people don’t know how to be happy for others. They don’t know how to share in joy. And they just don’t know how to be a friend that lifts rather than loathes.
It’s taken me a number of years to notice this. Maybe because it’s taken me a number of years to find the healthiest, truest version of myself. I now have solid direction. Success. And strength. But with those elements, has come a silent sweep of the stubborn. A slow and quiet distancing of the ones who are way better at finding the negative and failing to pick the positive. It’s kind of been a disappointing pivot in my life because those who once were close are feeling further away. But it’s also left me feeling a large amount of growth and awareness. And the ability to recognize when a door has closed. A previous lifetime ago, I managed a restaurant and occasionally suffered the wretched close-open shift (affectionately dubbed the clopen). Back then, it meant not leaving until 1:00-2:00AM with my closing crew only to turn around and be back at 8:00AM with my morning staff. The act of closing and opening those doors was brutal, exhausting and usually left me in the bleakest state of mind. And amazingly enough, the figurative act of life’s swinging doors fuels much of the same frame of mind. But as I grow wiser with age and stronger with experience, I’ve become better equipped to distinguish that doors come with reason and season. Good or bad, they swing open just as quick as they may close.
Do you struggle with closing the door on relationships that might only exist out of guilt, length or obligation? If so, it’s probably time to start learning how to liberate yourself.
Or at the very least, give gradual yield. Sometimes nature gives aid and distance or time will force the necessary separation from those who no longer belong. Other times, we find ourselves tied to a presence simply because we continue to give it life, out of routine and responsibility. But giving life requires energy and resources that are sometimes in short supply and we should really focus on reserving those for the more relevant relationships rather than the rigid. Negative feelings are a part of life. We have them. We handle them. And then we must hurl them. Because they only exist to give growth to the other side. And you know what’s on that other side? Faithful friends and captivating connections that are celebrating the successes with me, encouraging me, supporting me in ups AND downs and ultimately filling my cup in ways I’ve never experienced before.
Doors open and close every single day. If we recognize them, they give way to healing, strength, empowerment and freedom to JUST BE. And it’s in those moments that we find the people who make us appreciate the journey and every juncture along the way.