Knock knock! Who’s there? Meeeeeeeeee! {END SCENE}
My anti-climactic and lame attempt to re-enter your lives. 🙂
I keep telling myself I’ll do better about staying in touch. My list of unfinished documents on both my computer and my phone are getting slightly out of control. And my repetitive routine of having to re-introduce myself with each entry is probably getting quite old. 2019 is just around the corner so I’m making it a goal to be more focused and allow myself the time to connect and write more regularly. It’s probably the craziest time to set such an aspiration since I have added another ring to the circus. But the more the merrier! So they say.
Friends, I am back to working full-time. Nearly 3.5 years ago I started this blog because I needed a creative outlet. And I wanted the chance to share my thoughts with the world. Okaaaaay…that’s a bit dramatic. More like, the selective group of individuals who choose to follow and listen. Either way, I wanted to write for an audience. I wanted to be a voice, an inspiration or even just a relatable human being. I set out with that intent and I’ve garnered followers, comments and private messages from people who confirm that what I wanted to do has been well-worth the effort. And that makes me happy. It really, really does! So, even though I have taken on another role that will shift my focus and my time, it doesn’t take away from my intent to stay relevant and relatable!
I’m a writer. I’ve been a writer for a very long time. Dating all the way back to the year I got my very first Diary. 1986. I remember it well! A shiny white cover with musical notes and colored paper. It was perfect. And it was all mine. It was my first journal and certainly not my last. I spent the next fourteen years writing in journals; physical books of paper filled with my thoughts, feelings, fears, dreams and discoveries. Fast forward a whole lot of years…and I’m still a writer. And more than just a personal writer, I’m a professional writer. Because who says a career can’t be something you love? Me. I said that. I said it over and over and over. No way was I ever going to be able to find the kind of job that allowed me to do what I wanted while still getting paid well and prioritize what’s most important; my family. Nope. Those jobs don’t exist. At least not for me! I believed that. I believed I wasn’t good enough to have that kind of dream. No, that’s not right. I mean, I believed I wasn’t good enough to see that dream turn into a reality. I could have the dream. I just couldn’t make it come true. But those voices that echo I can’t are stupid. They’re S-T-U-P-I-D. It took a life-changing community to help me realize that I could do more and to stop listening to the negative and start practicing the positive. So, I started to branch out with my freelancing and nailed down some regular contract work with a few different companies. I gained confidence in a skill set that I never really gave myself permission to have (outside of the house) and I was loving it. It was a chance for me to discover more of my legacy.
When I decided to stay at home, I was at a crossroads of uncertainty and disappointment. I was nowhere near where I wanted to be or doing what I thought I should be doing. So I realized it was important for me to step back, re-prioritize the things (and the people) in my life, find more value in my day-to-day and reclaim true happiness. I took more time than I thought I would need but apparently it was necessary. It put me in the place I’m at right now and boy, does it feel good. I did it. I found happiness. I reconnected with my husband. I gave more attention to my family. I transformed our house into a home. And I turned my greatest love for writing into a FULL-TIME career! Some days were harder than others. And other times, I thought I might lose my $hit trying to figure it all out. But alas, it all came together and reminded me oh-so-well that perseverance AND patience pays off. I’m a big time loser when it comes to that kind of patience. I don’t do well with that. But those echoing voices, again? Yeah, this time they were encouraging. They continued to remind me of the prize and paved a way for the pursuit. Hope is a beautiful, beautiful thing.
So here I am, affiliated with an organization who truly values ME; my skill, my interests, my background, my education, my experience, my commitments outside of work and most of all, my family. Pinch me, please. This stuff doesn’t happen to ordinary individuals like myself. I’ve made so many mistakes in life, I’ve executed poor decisions, I’ve been cruel, I’ve been cynical, I’ve been stubborn, I’ve been stupid. I’ve done nothing to deserve this and yet, I feel like I’ve done everything to deserve this. Is it possible to believe in both?! Emphatically yes! The minute you start believing both is the minute you are destined to have what you want. The power of purpose. Recognizing each of these is important because it’s not about entitlement, it’s about earning. And oh, my friends…….have I ever earned this spot.
If you’re someone who is still looking for yours, go out NOW and find it. Because you will. Then please come back and tell me all about it.
See you in the New Year!
Weakness for Words 